When I wake up, I hear the TV downstairs and decide to investigate, I see my dad watching some cooking show, "Oh, hello Alex! Want to join me? I think you'd enjoy this." says dad, "Mm, okay." I then sit down next to my dad to better watch the show, and luckily, the show had just begun. *Cooking show theme starts* "Welcome to the show 'KCC'! Standing for kitchen, cutting, and cooking, and definitely not killing, cooking, and cannibal because that would be ABSURD!" the crowd then proceeds to laugh on cue, "Ahem, anyways, for our guest on today's show, I would like to welcome the celebrity chef who graciously decided to be here... Gordon Slaughter!" "Gordon Slaughter?" I interrupt, and the camera then cuts to show Gordon Slaughter coming out of the shadows formed by the curtains on the set. "Haha! Yes, it's me, and I must say, I am dearly grateful to be able to cook for you all on today's show of KCC, where chef's here make recipes no one has ever seen before! Until now, that is." Gordon then moves over to the cooking table, "Tonight, I'll be showing my newest dish called 'One Way to Heaven' representing of course, it's immaculate taste being even comparable to heaven's bliss, and certainly nothing else." He then proceeds to let out a small chuckle, and then continues, "The specimen is on average five feet and nine inches tall, and with skinny arms and legs, looking similar to us humans." he says this while carrying out a plastic bag with the meat inside, placing it on the kitchen table. "To prepare our meal, the first thing to do is cutting off the useless bits, like it's head for instance, but that's just my personal opinion of what's useless." He then proceeds to cut off the head and dump it in the trash, which makes me gag. "Then, you get to breading it." Which leads to him taking out some already prepared breading and breading up the meat, "And if anyone was wondering, yes the animal had already been de-contaminated as well as de-boned." he adds while continuing to bread the meat "Speaking of animal, could you tell us what the animal is?" shouts someone is the crowd, "I'll tell everyone that once it's finished delicious- I mean... humble, crowd member." he says, "Ah, and I almost forgot, this creature has been marinated in soy sauce, ginger, olive oil, hints of pepper and sugar, and... one more thing." once he was finished breading, he went over to the stove and put it inside. "Now while we're waiting, host, how about a commercial break?" "Of course!" says the host from somewhere behind the scenes, and then proceeds to clear his throat, "This is the cooking show KCC, coming back shortly after a commercial break." while waiting, me and my dad then proceed to talk and speculate about the animal, and imagining what the final result for the dish might look like. The show then comes back on and we find Gordon's chicken already out of the oven. "And a dash of asparagus... then- oh! Welcome back viewer, I nearly didn't see you and your dazzling... juicy eyes." He then moves on to pour an orange looking sauce on the food, "This sauce's ingredients consist of orange pepper, carrot, sesame oil, garlic, onion, some more hints of ginger, and... one other, secret ingredient." He then finishes pouring and adds some lettuce at the sides to make it look more enticing, "And viola!" he says while making exaggerated hand movements, "My dish, 'One Way to Heaven' is finished!" "Now can you tell us the animal?" says the crowd member from before. "I said right after it's finished crowd member, and by that I meant the show, not dish." And with that, the show ends with no answer to exactly what the food, or the secret other ingredients were to the marinade and sauce, and I got kind of disappointed because of it. "Aw, well that's a cliffhanger if I ever saw one." Says my dad once the show ended, "Well, now that that's over, you want to come with me to get some groceries?" "Uh... sure." I say, "...Did he ever publicly say what the 'specimen' really was?" "Eh... don't think so, but I'm pretty sure the people there said it was a pig or something." replied dad, "Are pigs really on average five feet and nine inches tall?" I ask. "Hm, yeah your right, so I guess those people were lying. Might be an arrangement they made with the show to not say anything." I sigh, "Well, whatever it is it does look good, has he started selling them anywhere?" I ask. "Let me see..." My dad proceeds to take out his phone to check, "Oh! He has in fact, he's selling them in a restaurant around here, want to go on the way to the store?" "Sure, as long as it doesn't take too long, I still have a lot of homework to get done from last time." We then get up and start walking to the car. Little did I know that the experience I'd be having soon, would be something I'd remember for the rest of eternity.